Mikko is all tucked in for the night and just like all past birthday eves of the boys, I shared his birth -day story. When I reminded him last night that we would be doing that tonight he said, “I bet that was the best year ever!” I told him it was a great year, tied with 2 of my other favorite years….1997 & 2000. I told him all 3 of my guys were in a 3 way tie. He was less than impressed.
I also reminded him how this birthday will be so different than last year. When he turned 6 he was still receiving chemo therapy, weak, bald and he was a just few days away from an almost 1 month stay for his stem cell transplant. What a difference a year makes! Our family has SO much to be thankful for!
The pictures of the bag of medication and syringes… On Thursday evening my neat an orderly (Maybe…just maybe a little OCD…) eldest child looked at the mess on top of the little counter by the fridge and said, ” The only thing over here are my sunglasses (as he picked them up), I want this cleaned up by the next time I come home.” My response was, “Whatever”. He was lucky I wasn’t in a fighting mood. Anyways…Friday evening it was quiet around here and I cleaned that little counter top off for the kid and then I decided to tackle the cabinet full of Mikko’s medication, syringes, and such. When I showed them to Mikko and I told him I was going to throw them out, he asked if he could. What a great idea! I said of course, we took the pictures and then he hesitated before throwing them. (The medication and needles I need to take somewhere. He threw the plastic medicine syringes.)
Mikko: I took all my medicine with these.
ME: Yep, you did.
Mikko: What if I need these?
Me: You don’t
Mikko: What if I need these?
Me: If you need medicine we will get you pills. You swallow pills now. We can always get more.
Mikko: (Mostly to himself) What if it comes back……I can get more….it’s not going to come back.
And then he dumped it all into the garbage can.
It was a sweet and sad moment all twisted together. The poor kid has the same fears I do. It is scary getting rid of the medical “things”…I don’t want to jinx us! It was also a reminder that this almost 7 year old little boy has worries and concerns that are very “heavy” and obviously weigh on his mind. I want to tell him it will never come back, that the battle is done…but I can’t. I know we all have a lot to learn about living life post treatment and not living in fear.
The shark picture…..Mikko and I headed up to Minneapolis for his scheduled appointment for the DFMO study with his first morning urine (Was with me at school. I’m not telling where!) . He will go once a month for the next 2 years (if he remains NED). It was a longer visit than I expected. The lab was packed with screaming kids and angry adults. I turned the corner and I believe I said, “Wow”, out loud. It made for some awesome people watching, but also a really long wait. When it was his turn for blood draw he didn’t make a peep. Back upstairs to see Dr. Walrus where he spent a good deal of time visiting with us and examining(I hold my breath the entire time he is feeling under Mikko’s arms, his tummy and groing…praying he feels nothing out of the ordinary.) Mikko. We were sent on our way after scheduling physical therapy with the next visit. When Mikko and I were having dinner in the cafeteria (to avoid the 5 o’clock traffic) I looked over his “counts” sheets. I noticed that his platelet and red blood cells went down some, still in the normal range, but down (side effect of DFMO), his white blood cells were up as was his BUN count. Nothing was said about it at the clinic, so obviously it is not a concern, but I hated to see it. I’m interested to see what next month brings. The Shark: We passed the pharmacy window and Mikko hit the brakes. No, no, no no….but…but…but Do you want it for your birthday? No, no, no Do you want to buy it with your own money? Yes He really did want it! As you can see he got it and yes with his own money.
Tomorrow is a WWE wrestling themed party! When I kissed Mikko goodnight I said, ” You know honey, 7 is a lucky number.” His response, “That’s an old saying mom.” The kid refuses to cut me any slack!
Love, Hope and Blessings,
(I’m not proof reading tonight!)