Swim Lessons, Make A Wish Trip, & a Tricky Question (Or Was it?)

Jon started swim lessons this past Monday. Another huge milestone for our little guy! He was a little nervous, but got right down to the business of being a really good listener and trying to do everything the lifeguards told him. John absolutely loves swim lessons! The skills he had before his diagnosis and year long break from the water quickly came back. He can now doggy paddle and float on his back. The kid loves the water and I now have added an additional nickname….Fins.

Our entire family is so excited about John’s upcoming Make A Wish trip to Hawaii!! July 24th will be here before we know it! We still don’t know anything but our flights for this magnificent trip. Next Friday Make A Wish along with one of their partners, Microsoft, is throwing John a send off party at The Mall of America store. We will be there for 2 hours and during that time we will receive a tour, play games, have dinner and receive the packet of information about our trip. Yay! We can’t wait to learn where we are staying and some of the things we will be doing. We are so grateful for this once in a life time opportunity for John and all of thanks to Make A Wish!

This past Sunday John and I were talking about how many days were left until we leave for our trip. We decided to make a paper chain of the days and he diligently tears one link off each night at bed time. The chain is hung in a high traffic area in our home so is serves as a constant reminder that Hawaii is getting close!!

With Hawaii being so close I am a little panicked about keeping everyone healthy and in one piece. Michael left for his friend’s lake home in Cumberland this morning. When he told me he was going to attempt some back flip on the wakeboard I said, “No broken arms or legs. Hawaii will not be fun with broken bones!”. On the way to drop John off in Rochester for the weekend he commented that he was tired. Of course I had to ask him if he is feeling ok. When Jeffrey called about staying at a friend’s house tonight I told him to be careful. Yes…I am a little paranoid!

All 3 boys were gone tonight so Jon and I took advantage of the situation and headed out for dinner. We went to Bayport BBQ. Jon had come across it while driving to a site for work and thought it looked interesting. We got there a little before 8 and they close at 8. I went in anyways to see what it looked like and they said they would serve us. We were the only two customers in the restaurant! Talk about alone time! We enjoyed our pulled pork and then headed to Afton for ice cream dessert. It was a nice evening out together. Unusually quiet, but nice.

If you read my Caringbridge post yesterday you know I was in a little bit of a funk. Today was better, but John threw me off for a few moments this morning. He was in the shower playing with his superman and his hulk guys while I was at the bathroom counter putting on my make up. “What would you say if I died?”, he shouted over the noise of the shower. I was frozen in stunned silence and he asked me again. I didn’t know what to say…did my perceptive son know what a mess I was yesterday? Had he seen something on TV that would make him ask that question or was he just trying to get a reaction out of me? There are a million better ways I could have dealt with this, but I couldn’t deal today… I just told him I wasn’t having that conversation right now. That really ticked him off. “Just tell me right now!” No..Then the little stinker broke into a song that is played a lot on the radio and he knows most of the words. He knows his dad hates it because he quickly turns it off every time he hears it. It’s called  “When I’m Gone”. John started singing “You’re gonna miss me by my walk, you’re gonna miss me by my talk..oh, you’re gonna miss me when I’m gone” What’s a basket case of a mother to do? I sang along and that was the end of it.

This evening when I was sharing this with Jon he told me John had asked him the other day which one of them was going to die first. Ugh…Where is this coming from? Is it his experiences? Is it normal 6 year old curiosity? We have tried to shield him from sad cancer stories and it’s difficult. There’s so much on TV…Jon and I turn into middle aged, out of shape track athletes hurdling over obstacles in our living room to grab the remote to turn off yet another cancer story that ends in taking a life (I hate cancer!). Of course these actions just draw attention to the stories, but we panic and it doesn’t help that the kid has radar for any cancer stories or cancer words (radiation, tumor…). Can’t say that I blame him!

I’m going to try and feel out a little more where these comments are coming from. Maybe we need to go talk with someone.

The boys are off doing their things this weekend and Jon and I are heading to a friend’s wedding. We’ve had so much good new to celebrate this spring/summer…three weddings, graduations, Miracle of Mitch Weekend, good health, family and friends.

Love, Hope & Blessings,

Shelly

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